The studio is officially open!

I have just had my opening weekend. It went well and a bunch of people showed up whom I wasn't expecting which really touched me. I enjoyed myself, engaged my friends / audience and made some lovely pieces of glass. There was cake, champagne, laughter and fun. It wasn't rammed, but I didn't need it to be to consider it a success. I felt successful from the support I was given and the well wishes I received, some in person and some via email or text from those who were unable to attend. I feel so lucky.
I ended the weekend feeling exhausted but happy. Who can ask for more?
I even sold some glass. I appear to have an excess of cake though... Such a tragedy. 

Just about open

Currently I am frazzled. We're pretty much open to the public now and I've just spent a load of money on paint, cleaning stuff, and the basic materials I need to start up. We've done this in the quietest time of the year but now I'm ready and open I am also terrified. This comes as a bit of a shock to me. I was confident, I was enthusiastic, I was excited... Now I'm... Well I'm kind of stressed out and a little bit miserable. I think they call this "After the Lord Mayors Fair". Meaning that the build-up has been huge and now the reality has hit it is somewhat underwhelming.

I have been sleeping excessively and yesterday as soon as I arrived at work I vomited. It could have been a bug but that would be quite unusual for me. The amount I've been sleeping I'm presuming it's stress. I am stressing myself out over money primarily. What if I can't do this? What if I fail miserably? What if no one wants to buy the things I make? What if our exit from europe destroys everything? What if I can't afford to buy the raw materials and keep myself fed? These are all things that will not be solved by worrying about them. Yet I am worried to the point of throwing up. I'm desperately trying to calm myself and get a better grip on my situation. I thought I'd made it because I have a studio, if only life were that easy. Now I have to try and make the studio viable with only 10 years experience in my field, 10 years is not a lot by glass blowing standards. I'm pretty sure I can do this. At least I have to try, I'm terrified but that's what makes moving forward so important. As far as I'm concerned the most important thing in life is to do what you need to do regardless of how mind numbingly terrifying it is. On that thought I'm going to go make some earrings, who doesn't love earrings right?

Ok so it's later on and I'm feeling loads more positive, eaten some good stuff and I've talked to some really nice people who came by, I sold a few things which is a nice boost for a week day. There have just been some really lovely people in today which makes such a huge difference to me and my mood. We are a little bit out in the middle of nowhere here so foot-fall is sparse.
A lady came in to bring me a fluted piece of glass for me to make replacements of broken ones for her. It's Vaseline glass which we don't melt but I'm fairly confident I can match the colour. My own confidence with people as increasing also a lot of the time my gut instinct is to hide in the back. I'm not a massive people person. However I'm becoming more confident in my own abilities to replicate pieces of glass and the more I do these repairs the more confident I'm feeling. It's a slow, steady trudge but I actually feel like I'm getting there. How a few hours can change ones perspective.

Fickle world

This is an older rambling which I have finally decided to publish.

The glass blowing world is incredibly fickle, unfortunately you will be judged on your actions outside of your profession.
This seems to be the case particularly for women, to give an example, a female glass blower began an intimate relationship with a male glassblower. She was entirely unaware that he was in a relationship with someone else at the time, once she found out she broke it off. She has since applied to his place of work for an assistant position. The reason she is not getting the job is because she has previously been romantically involved a member of staff. The other staff members took an instant dislike to her and branded her a "homewrecker" despite her lack of knowledge about her lovers' long-term girlfriend.
The man in question was not punished at all, his workmates and boss all knew about the affair. His partner remains unaware.
This girl now has a reputation within the glassblowing community. She does not deserve it and has been judged unfairly on her moral conduct. The man's position at work and his home life remain blissfully unaltered. Gossip spreads like wildfire and people will judge her without even having met her.

As a female glass blower I could not have achieved the position I'm in now without a huge amount of support from a man who is hugely respected within the profession. He has taught and supported me throughout my development as a maker and simply being seen with him has awarded me some levels of respect amongst collectors and glass makers alike. I tended to stand next to him at every social/networking opportunity and try to become involved in every conversation regarding techniques of glass making. I had to force myself into conversations particularly with middle-aged and older men who even flippantly attributed my contributions to the conversation to Richard. Richard repeatedly pointed out that work was mine or I had analysed something faster or more effectively than him and some of these men  looked through me as though I was a shadow. This made me more determined to crowbar my way into every conversation I could, to push my abilities and knowledge on to them and make them acknowledge my presence. I understand this made them feel uncomfortable sometimes but Richard had asked for my opinion on several occasions and they still felt it acceptable not to acknowledge my presence.
This is not necessarily because I'm female, it may be because they consider me too young to be knowledgeable in this field, whilst in a way flattering, my age is largely irrelevant as I've been making glass for 13 years now. I know that I don't know everything but I am more familiar with modern teaching and a different variety of techniques than those that Richard uses.
I don't believe my opinions are worth more than another glass makers, I just wish to be heard and not ignored. This seems to be the lot of female glass makers. We have been deemed 'not "real" glass makers' by members of the public. I have also heard "Oh the man isn't doing it today" hundreds of times,which people tell children as I am  between making pieces or having a cup of tea. They are small things, but they all add up. They can make you feel underappreciated and like you have to prove yourself to complete strangers in order to be accepted as a glass maker.
There are few female glass makers in the country, let alone any whom have the time and money to dedicate to an apprentice or student. This means that most female glass makers learn from male glass makers, this isn't necessarily a bad thing but it segregates the female glass making community and often makes us see each other as competition rather than potential friends or respected peers.
I hope there is a little shift in the world and we all begin to see each other as a supportive network.
   
   

First Day

It's the first of February 2019 and it's the first day I've made anything in my studio this year. Just a few small pendents to test that the equipment is still working as it should before I delve in to orders and memorial paperweights.
I have managed to shuffle most of the hotshop around to give us a bit more space and I've even scrubbed the floor in places! (It's made from wooden decking so it's not getting a complete clean as I'm just going to burn it again soon anyway) The storage room and lobby have both been repainted and restocked with essentials, we can even open both doors all the way now! There's no stuff in the way anymore, we used to have a load of bags of chemicals left over from the days when we melted our own glass from scratch. I'm currently trying to find out how to dispose of them safely.

Everything has taken so much longer than anticipated. The smoke damaged areas took so many coats of paint and everything was just so dirty. The cleaning definitely took longer than the painting but the painting would have been hell without the cleaning first. 
I have also discovered how difficult it it to paint a small ceiling... when you're 5'3".
My mum and step-dad have been amazing throughout this entire process, they have cleaned, masking-taped, painted, organised, done tip runs, painted some more, taken things home to clean and paint, hassled the council about my lease for me, moved heavy stuff, and painted some more! I wouldn't be anywhere close to finished without them! I am so grateful to have my amazing family and friends around me right now.
Plan to open back up in a couple of days. Best get my glass stuff back to the station.

Taking over Station Glass - January

So it's here. 2019. The year I officially take over the Station. I am beyond excited!
It's nearing the end of January and I am so tired. We have had a sort-out and have cleaned everything from top to bottom. We have almost finished the painting, my clothes constantly stink of gloss paint. In fact the whole station smells of paint. I barely notice it anymore. We have fillered, sanded, painted and repainted the ceilings, walls, coving, skirting boards and window frames. It has taken 4 of us almost a whole month but hopefully we will never have to do it again in one go! I wanted a fresh start so everything is getting a makeover. Even the toilet is having a new seat!
I love this building and it's about time it showed. The council managed to get round to fixing the sash window (just one) in the studio so we can actually open it now for the deadly hot summers.
All the stuff in storage is being sorted through in the next few days, the hotshop is getting shuffled to hopefully make better use of the small space and the plinths are getting a new coat of paint once we have stopped using them as storage for all the stuff that we had to move in order to paint. It's all go and I feel like I haven't slept so far this year but I am happy. I am happy and looking forward to the future.

Richard's Retirement

Richard is retiring at the end of this year and I take over the studio in January.
I'm excited, terrified, and a bit sad. Richard represents so many things to me; he's a mentor, a friend, a massively skilled glassmaker, a very chilled out guy who can chat to anyone and is just an all round brilliant human being. This year has been tough as I've hardly gotten to make glass with him at all. I see him occasionally in the mornings when he collects his work from the day before. I figure I can still catch him in the pub in 2019 though.

I finally visited Murano

In June 2018 something phenominal happened. The Island of Murano opened its doors to glassmakers across the world by hosting the Glass Art Society's 47th annual conference.
Murano has been well known for its' secretive ways and lack of skill sharing with other glassmakers acround the globe for centuries, so much so that the island itself was once a prison where glassmakers and their families could live happily as long as they never tried to leave. With that context it was a huge, historical step for the glassmaking world. I believe this was largely pushed by Maestro Lino Tagliapietra who has been teaching since the 1970s all over the world.

It was the first (and hopefully not the last) time I have attended a GAS conference but what a way to start! I stayed in Venice and travelled by Vaporetto (water bus) to Murano each day and had one of the best times of my life. There were so many people with similar interests, so many glass maker demonstrations to watch and so many places to investigate on the island itself. Shops, galleries, tool makers, studios. It was so much to take in all at once. It was so overwhelming but in an amazing way!

So when I tell you that all of this paled in to insgnificance compared to the highlight of my trip you will may grasp the enormity of it.  I got to meet my penpal. Her name is Dominique Cassie and she runs a glass workshop in Jaffrey, New Hampshire, U.S.A. She is just about one of the most fantastic humans I have ever met and I met her just before we got on a plane to Venice. I was terrified we were going to hate each other (as we were staying together the whole time) but we got on so well and I love her even more in person! She truly made my trip the best it could have been. She also catnapped everywhere which entertained me greatly. This might be due to accidentally purchasing decaf coffee because we couldn't read any Italian!

We went to watch Ned Cantrel, Vidar Kosvik, James Mongrain, David Powell, Nancy Callan, Gemma Grey, Dante Marioni, Lino Tagliapietra, Martin Janeky, and so many more. We watched the glassmakers work in the murrini factory, went to several glass galleries, visited mirror makers, chandelier galleries, saw loads of different studios, beach combed for the best sea glass I've ever found. I also met some amazing people like Sally Pratch who was just wonderful. It was amazing. I hope one day to be able to visit another GAS conference and see Dominique again. I love her all the way across the ocean.