Just about open

Currently I am frazzled. We're pretty much open to the public now and I've just spent a load of money on paint, cleaning stuff, and the basic materials I need to start up. We've done this in the quietest time of the year but now I'm ready and open I am also terrified. This comes as a bit of a shock to me. I was confident, I was enthusiastic, I was excited... Now I'm... Well I'm kind of stressed out and a little bit miserable. I think they call this "After the Lord Mayors Fair". Meaning that the build-up has been huge and now the reality has hit it is somewhat underwhelming.

I have been sleeping excessively and yesterday as soon as I arrived at work I vomited. It could have been a bug but that would be quite unusual for me. The amount I've been sleeping I'm presuming it's stress. I am stressing myself out over money primarily. What if I can't do this? What if I fail miserably? What if no one wants to buy the things I make? What if our exit from europe destroys everything? What if I can't afford to buy the raw materials and keep myself fed? These are all things that will not be solved by worrying about them. Yet I am worried to the point of throwing up. I'm desperately trying to calm myself and get a better grip on my situation. I thought I'd made it because I have a studio, if only life were that easy. Now I have to try and make the studio viable with only 10 years experience in my field, 10 years is not a lot by glass blowing standards. I'm pretty sure I can do this. At least I have to try, I'm terrified but that's what makes moving forward so important. As far as I'm concerned the most important thing in life is to do what you need to do regardless of how mind numbingly terrifying it is. On that thought I'm going to go make some earrings, who doesn't love earrings right?

Ok so it's later on and I'm feeling loads more positive, eaten some good stuff and I've talked to some really nice people who came by, I sold a few things which is a nice boost for a week day. There have just been some really lovely people in today which makes such a huge difference to me and my mood. We are a little bit out in the middle of nowhere here so foot-fall is sparse.
A lady came in to bring me a fluted piece of glass for me to make replacements of broken ones for her. It's Vaseline glass which we don't melt but I'm fairly confident I can match the colour. My own confidence with people as increasing also a lot of the time my gut instinct is to hide in the back. I'm not a massive people person. However I'm becoming more confident in my own abilities to replicate pieces of glass and the more I do these repairs the more confident I'm feeling. It's a slow, steady trudge but I actually feel like I'm getting there. How a few hours can change ones perspective.