Brain Dump. November 2021

I feel like I am struggling to find myself artistically 

I think I have imposter syndrome. 

I don't feel like I have a voice worthy of saying anything in the art world because I come from a privileged background and I've never had to suffer through any severe hardship. 

I've had trauma and depression which is hard but I didn't grow up in poverty, I wasn't physically abused, I don't have anything traumatic my life in that way and somehow I feel that that makes me less valid than other people. I have fewer things to say, I almost feel like my opinion is not worthy of being heard.

I don't know if this is a response to me not being happy where I am artistically, I don't know if this is overthinking things and making reasons to just not "put my work out there" or make my own conceptual pieces. It's almost like I'm frightened. Whenever I think about making pieces I think about the reactions people would have to them, often that is enough to just put me off making it completely. As you can imagine this is maybe a little bit of a setback for an artist. It doesn't help that the last two years have been entirely focused on trying to stay afloat, trying to make enough glass to fulfil orders (I am grateful to have those orders) I'm trying to sell work to pay the bills throughout the pandemic. We are doing well financially now but we weren't for some time, especially in the first lockdown.

I was rejected for funding but was able to get a small discretionary grant which enabled me to basically pay my rent and not much else. I'm just lucky that I had some savings that I could bail myself out with.

This last year I've also questioned a lot if this is what I want to do or not. My life would have been easier if I just went to work for someone else, came home and then did creative things as a hobby instead of my career. My inspiration for making has just bombed. I've just sat and looked at blank pages in my sketchbook. All of my paints have dried up which I only discovered recently because it has been so long since I painted anything.

I have bought myself some new paints now because that made me incredibly sad. I used to want to create all the time and all I want to do right now is survive... I am seeing the light at the end of a tunnel, it just seems like it's a very long way away.

It doesn't help that we are rapidly approaching Christmas and I I'm not particularly happy around this time of year.

I know I'm gonna get called Scrooge or Humbug but I don't enjoy Christmas. I don't enjoy the run-up to Christmas, I don't enjoy the vast amounts of consumerism and I'm at the juxtaposition of relying on some of that for a portion of my income every year so I feel like a hypocrite. I also reluctantly partake in the mass consumerism every year although I try to source thoughtful gifts rather than just purchasing cheap things which were made in China and shipped to the UK.

Brexit has also made it difficult to post things or import things currently. Our docks are so busy and clogged up because of Covid restrictions and god knows however many rules there are now for importing things and shipping things. 

So yeah, it's a weird time. I'm wondering when the weirdness will settle down a bit and the UK might have a chance to heal again. 

When I might have a chance to breathe again... 

I'm near the end of orders now. So close! Just a few things left to coldwork and ship.

Then I can start on people's custom orders, as opposed to shops orders. 

Just keep swimming...

    

Open Day

The first open day at the studio (which will eventually be mine) where I had a showcase of my own work.

It happened yesterday. I spent the week stressing myself out, coldworking the things I was able to coldwork and sanding/painting and “filler-ing” my upcycled display cabinet and obviously trying to make a shed load of glass to go in it.  I was getting up at 7 and working before going to work then going straight to the garage-studio in the evenings to coldwork. Many things did not get completed because I was too tired to concentrate properly and I don’t yet have the array of coldworking facilities which I need to finish everything to the standard I want. I have lots of “work in progress”

I was so fatigued by the start of the day that I barely remembered it and quite frankly was not a good conversationalist when there were many, many people all trying to talk to me at once. The people are lovely and for the most part encouraging.

I hope I didn’t just stare vacantly in their direction and nod and smile…

I just slept for 13 hours straight and am still tired. Apparently I did not handle this well.

A few things happened, some of which surprised me and some of which disheartened me. I feel egotistical saying this but I didn’t sell much of my work and I found this surprising. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised because Richard has announced that he will be retiring from glassmaking in the next couple of years so his collectors are obviously going to try to get what they can whilst he is still making. Not that this makes me feel any better when I look at my sales.

The upside is that I now have a permanent display at the Station and it is currently nicely stocked with things. Silver-lining, right?

The more disheartening thing happened when we were pricing some of my pieces in the morning. (Yes I know it was last minute but hey I am an artist so I am useless at linear thinking) There was a friend and collector staying with my boss and his wife who was helping out with the open day, I asked his opinion on pricing for some of my solid-sculpted pieces. I realise that solid-sculpting is not to everyone’s taste and is by no means a traditional method of making in the UK. It clearly was not to his taste because he suggested the price tag of £60 for something which had taken me almost three hours to make. He must have seen my face drop because he rapidly suggested I upped it to £75… I imagine my face probably frowned. I made him hold the piece and the realisation of just how heavy it was dawned on him, his estimate only just covered the cost of the glass and the gas used to heat it, not even covering the assistants wages. I think it then registered with him that he might have offended me just a little.

I had valued his opinion in the past because he is a longstanding glass collector who is meticulous in his arrangement and display of his collection. His house is like a museum. Full of traditionally made beautiful pieces of glass. I still value his opinion but will not be asking for it on any solid-sculpted pieces. The closest thing to solid-sculpting he has in his collection is a paperweight or two. He clearly places a higher value on the blown pieces which he obviously enjoys.

This was one step in a steep learning curve for me. Richards collectors love his work, my own style of work is very different and that showed in sales. I will not be changing my style of work (because if I just copy Richards style that defeats the object, doesn’t it?) but will be changing where I choose to market it.  I think my solid sculpted pieces probably belong in a gallery setting where the right audience will see them.

I was also told that one of my sculptures was “horrible”.  The reason being that it was a bunny body with a large skull for a face and big floppy ears. I enjoy mixing the cute with the macabre. Many people think I should stick to the cute. I like the macabre too much to stay away from it. I realise it’s an acquired taste but the market is out there. It probably doesn’t exist amongst most middle-aged glass collectors though. Several people have suggested Whitby as a good place to show my work.

I feel I need a trip to Whitby to meet some of “my people” and have a break for a while. 

 My display cabinet before and after

Fully stocked, bit dark as we hadn't opened the blinds yet

Ocean sculptures and paperweights

 Underwater volcano sculptural light

 Everyone needs icecream cone sheep in their life right?

 New small display advertising my Memorial Ashes Paperweight range

My horrible bunny skull sculpture. His name is Bernard. I love him.

Britain's Glass Makers, regarding the impact of the recession and overseas production.

So, what, I hear you cry, is the state of glass making in the UK right now?

Clearly this is the question on everybody's (or nobody's) lips. It's on my lips/mind/brain anyway. 

We have a few factories left that I know of, which are what I would call traditional glass factories with skilled workers. Dartington Glass, Cumbria Crystal, Caithness, Plowden & Thompson are the ones I am aware of, there may be more but I haven't found them yet.

Many of our factories went out of business due to the importation of cheaper glass from India and China where wages are much lower and health and safety is non-existent. I also believe the raw materials are cheaper over there, probably because of the two aforementioned conditions whilst it is being extracted from the ground. Silica-sand being the main ingredient of glass which does need to be mined. We have a good seam going somewhere in Scotland at the moment I believe...

This is a link to an old (1991) film of a typical glass factory in India. From 3:50- 5:55 because you can't grasp how dangerous it can be until you see a load of blokes chucking blowing irons with molten glass on the ends at each other...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPjDUXz0Fe8

 As most of the glassware sold in the UK is now made abroad, this closed many of our factories, until only smaller independent studios and educational facilities remained. Then the recession hit. This closed many of our small studios or forced people to drastically change their products or their way of making.

Many people now hire a studio for a day or two of making their work as it is more affordable than running their own studio full time. (Which most of us don't know how to do anyway as studio management/furnace building/equipment operation is not taught in Universities these days.)

The cost of hiring a studio for the day is high but they have to be to make it worth the while of the owner once you take in to account the running costs. The rates vary from studio to studio from £150 per day (Midlands based studio) to £450 per day (Manchester/London based studio). Often the artist will have to pay the wages of an assistant on top of this cost, or provide their own assistant or share days with another maker.

The small studios which are dotted around the country are the real driving force of the UK's glass scene. Independent makers who have developed their own signature style, or really tailored their work to a niche area of the glass market. 

With that in mind it's artist spotlight time! Focusing on three glass makers who are still here after the recession and all have different approaches to their business.

Richard Golding; Founder of Okra Glass in 1979 Richard has worked in most glass environments, has built most of his own equipment and developed many highly skilled surface decoration techniques over his 36 years working with glass. These days he is semi-retired with a small studio called Station Glass, Shenton. (http://www.stationglass.com) He survived the recession by having a small army of collectors already established from the Okra days and by offering high-end, uniquely made glass pieces unlike any other maker in the UK.

Stuart Fletcher; Owner of Top Glass, Hanbury. Stuart has had a studio in the busy Jinney Ring craft centre for twelve years now. The shop has every available space filled with stock, including the ceiling. Baubles hang from the beams above whilst the shelves are crammed with varied pieces made by several different makers. Everything is organised mainly by colour.

The foot-fall generated by the craft centre is essential for getting through the quieter times of the year but Top Glass thrived throughout the recession by producing a wide variety of products for a variety of budgets. Smaller, cheaper pieces are the best sellers with a faster turnover than the larger, more time consuming pieces. 

Jake Mee; Owner of Smithbrook Glassblowing Studio, Surrey. Jake sells his work through galleries as well as his own studio/shop. He also, like Richard, has an energy efficient furnace combo unit which is not designed for large scale or mass-production work. Jake runs day courses which seem to be his main source of income, he also runs demonstrations for schools and other groups. He is perfectly placed in Surrey to attract well-off clients who want to try something new and exciting and maybe purchase glass whilst they are there. He has tailored his practice to suit the placement of his studio perfectly.

With the small studio glass movement thriving in this new "Handmade in Britain" era, I wonder if history will repeat itself... With art prices getting higher, then the mass produced art will creep back like in the Art Nouveau period and there will be a need for industrial practices again which could bring some glass factories back to Britain. That would be nice in the long run because almost all the people who have the knowledge of how to effectively run a large-scale glass factory are retired, dead or living in another country.

The UK glass making world is small and it's getting smaller. There will always be glass makers around but they will learn and perfect small, specialised areas or techniques in their little studios. This means better glass, more varied artisans, and hopefully a highly successful small-scale glass movement within whatever vast, general, artistic movement we are currently living through. 

One thing is certain, people are much more willing to buy a piece of handmade glass once they have seen a person making the glass. For the average person, it seems they fail to consider the making process at all when looking at a piece of cold glass unless they see someone forming the glass whilst it's hot. The greater the understanding of the consumer, the greater UK glass will be. 

Lets unite and show them what we can do!